2017 Sep 18
For those of us suffering from insomnia, we know that real happiness is a good night’s sleep. Most of us have explored various bizarre remedies to induce sleep starting from banishing cell phones to munching on lettuce (Yup the French recommend it). However, in my case, most of these cures were all for naught. So why do we suffer this way! What if I told you that the reason for your sleepless nights isn’t your mobile-phone’s fault? What if the root cause is much more fundamental? Maybe…. just maybe the reason you can’t go to sleep when you want is because…. you’re Sri Lankan!
It’s all that spicy food
It is a universally acknowledged truth that if you are Lankan, you must be in want need of spicy food. However, according to research, that devilled chicken you adore may actually be the reason you’re just staring into darkness at 3 A.M. Individuals who have spicy meals for dinner not only take longer to fall asleep, but also spend less time in deep sleep. So the next time you ask for green chilli with your rice and curry, remember that you are very likely to be tossing and turning most of the night because of it. I know it’s hard, but for the sake of getting rid of those dark circles, just lay off the spicy food a bit.
The random loud festivities
Have you had days where you’re exhausted and longing to snuggle in bed but there’s a super loud concert happening at 11 P.M next door? I mean we all enjoy a good baila night, but how do you expect Lalith to wake up for his 8 A.M meeting about ROIs and Net-Profit Margins, when pitti kotapan noneh is being blasted at midnight??? Please refrain from calling the police if you don’t want thugs sent to your house. Just get on e-bay right now and order the best quality earplugs you can find.
It’s the heat again
Both the freezing cold and burning heat is proven to cause poor sleep. As Sri Lankans, we primarily struggle with the baking sun, which means we spend most of the night waking up in sweat. Dear reader with an AC, please don’t rub your blessings in our face! All we have is a creaky ceiling fan. For the desperados who cannot afford expensive electronic cooling devices, here’s what you need to do. Fill one of those hot water bottles with ice cold water and just cuddle it close to your neck while you sleep. You couldn’t possibly get pneumonia in this heat right?
The Blackouts
For most areas in Sri Lanka, power-cuts happen at least once a week. Sometimes at 1 A.M and sometimes at 6 AM on your weekend!! So here’s the thing. We all know this country is super warm. Hence, there is no way you can sleep through a power-cut unless you’re loaded on Piriton. The bottom line is, the moment that fan stops working, you’re going to wake up. And once you do, you’re going to boil….not from the heat, but from sheer rage. “All I want is to sleep and these **@!#@****@ won’t freaking let me!!”. The irony is, even if the power comes back soon it won’t be easy to fall asleep after all this anger. Let it go now my friend.. let it go.
You’re just a Lankan parent
Of all the things that could keep you up at night, the most powerful and unsolvable reason is if you’re a Lankan Amma or Thaththa. If your raththaran duwa or putha is not home yet, there’s no way you’d get a wink of sleep. It’s never a simple reason like my child is just having a good time at a party that comes to mind. “What if he’s gotten into an accident?”, “What if she’s lying in a ditch somewhere?” Yup with these thoughts vividly screaming in your head, there’s no way you’re sleeping tonight. Will it go away as your kids get older? No, my Thaththa is 57 years old and yet, Aachchi still waits up for him. I’m sorry but there’s no solution for this. It’s just the price you pay for loving your children.
