2018 Feb 21
1. “You’re a girl, so you can’t”
There are SO many problems with this statement. The first being the explicit double standard spelling out that we could do whatever we’re being told we can’t do – if we were boys (classic throwbacks to Yonce’s smash single that called people out on this BS forever ago).
The second more insidious reason being that these type of lines perpetuate the stereotypes that often have a significant effect on the rest of a woman’s life, often in highly discriminatory and sexist ways. The only thing a woman CAN’T DO that men can is, you guessed it, NOTHING. We can even pee standing up.
2. “Can you cook?”
Umm, do I need to?
While it’s pretty cool if any girl (or guy) out there can whip up delicious gourmet style food, it is most definitely not a skill anyone should be shamed for not having. Sure, it’s become almost essential for survival amongst us Lankan millennials who leave home to attend university, lest we lose obnoxious amounts of weight (since we can no longer feast on kaha buth and chicken curry everyday (to the horror of our mothers)) and survive on dry Maggi for months.
That being said, cooking should NEVER be something which determines just how much marriage material you are, or simply how much value you bring to the (dining) table.
3.“Boys don’t like it when girls….”
This one is comedic gold, because since when are women required to act according to what men find appealing?
Don’t like the way I mercilessly demolish my rice and curry? Or this cute outfit I spent WEEKS coming up with? Boy, byee.
This irritating notion that women need to conform to the desires of men probably stems from one of two things: staggering male entitlement and/or the ubiquitous Colombo aunty mania about getting married ASAP, making it clear that no matter how far a woman goes or what she achieves, her worth is ultimately tied to whether or not she can snag boyfriend/husband.
Women should be free to do whatever they want, insofar as they’re not hurting anyone. Except that swift kick in the groin to that creep who won’t stop catcalling you, of course.
4. “Now putha, when are you going to get married?”
Why do grandparents have the urgent need to find out when you’re getting married, quite usually at a wedding itself? Isn’t one wedding ENOUGH?
The idea that women need to get married ASAP is often tied to an almost manic obsession our culture has with youth, beauty and fertility. While older generations have a little difficulty seeing their precious dhuwa hit up family events date-less, or pass by every birthday without a husband or kid in tow, this should not in any way pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to.
Surely it would be far better to be patient rather than end up in a loveless marriage, all because aachchi wanted to see you married in her lifetime. This is of course in addition to if marriage is even the right choice for you!
5. “You must get married quickly and start a family”
Undoubtedly stemming from well meaning intentions, comments such as this have little place in the fast emerging era of all girl empowerment. While there’s nothing more delightful than wanting a family, or even staying home and being a full time mother if this is what you genuinely want, it may not be the best fit or first choice for every young girl out there.
The real tragedy here would be forcing yourself to fit into an arbitrary mould society has picked for you. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
6. “Why are you so annoyed? Are you on your period?”
This has got to be the easiest way to fuel any woman into a near murderous rage because apparently expressing annoyance is not normal, and can only be the result of hormonal imbalance brought about by menstrual cycles?
I mean it’s TOTALLY unreasonable for me to yell after I dropped this spoon on my foot right? Jokes aside, don’t allow the PMS argument to sidetrack and deflect (often) well placed annoyance.
Disclaimer: This article was composed with a humorous intention and is not meant to offend anyone or incite male-bashing in particularly. However if you’re one of the people who drop these type of lines on the regular, S T O P that nonsense.
