Everything else.. 5 Roles Lankan Friends Have Perfected

5 Roles Lankan Friends Have Perfected

2018 Jan 30

A Lankan friend plays a number of roles in your life – from being your 24/7 therapist to your consistent cheerleader! So let’s take a look at a few of these irreplaceable roles below!

1. The Trusted Advisor

What Grand Viziers did for their King, Lankan friends will do for you. They are your loyal advisors, your Siri when your iPhone is dead, the Rafiki to your Simba. The SL buddy’s advice covers the small stuff like what you should buy at the mall and when you should be swiping right on Tinder, and also the more serious life advice on jobs, family, and relationships! Just present your Lankan friend with some message screenshots and he/she will calculate (quite accurately) if your crush likes you or not. But be warned, if you go against the advice of your all-knowing friend and misfortune falls upon you, the “mama kiwanè” will never run out.

2. The Therapist

Once in a while, life fails colossally. Be it a perm gone wrong or a psycho partner’s horrid fiascos, your Lankan friend will be there to listen, to let you vent, to wipe your tears and to help you heal. They will be there all throughout your “my life is over I’m never falling in love again” to your “OMG doesn’t he look cute?” That really is the beauty of a Lankan friend. They don’t just stick by you for the good times. When you’re down, your SL buddy will sit down with you… and then help you get back up.

3. The Second Amma

If you were lucky enough to study abroad with your Lankan friend, then you know this is true. In the absence of your Amma, your SL pal will step into that role. When you’re sick, she/he will brave the cold weather and run to the supermarket to get you cream crackers. He/she will bring you a bag to throw up into (mine gave me a bag with holes but hey, she tried) and force Samahan down your throat afterwards. But know that once your Lankan friend takes on the Amma role, she/he won’t be able to resist asking the dreaded questions like “Where are you going?”, “who are you going with?”, “When will you be home?” It’s an occupational hazard I guess.

4. The Bodyguard 

Regardless of the fact that my Lankan friend is 5 feet and no inches tall, she’s actually a “klèmo bombè” in disguise. So even if you’re going down a dodgy neighborhood with your looney ex walking towards you, there’s nothing to fear… when your SL pal is near. But in addition to protecting you from others, sometimes Lankan friends save you from yourself. “No, don’t text him!” “That’s a stupid thing to do, you should be shot!” They give you the harsh reality check you need to stop you from doing questionable things. So without doubt, only a true friend will tell you the ugly truth. But only a Lankan friend will beat you, yell at you and pin you down until you see the ugly truth.

5. The Cheerleader

Sometimes, fate deals you a really bad hand. And sometimes… it’s so bad that you lose yourself. But the great thing about Lankan friends is that they will go out of their way to make sure you don’t give up. If you don’t reply to their messages, they’ll give you endless missed calls. If you switch your phone off, hell they will email you if it comes to that. One way or the other, your Lankan friend will ensure that you believe in yourself again. And they are really good at it because at the end of the day, they know you inside and out.

My Dear Lankan Friends, life without you is certainly unimaginable! I hope this article touches you enough to keep doing all that you do for us, so thank you!