2018 May 31
“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you’ll land among the stars”
First of all, let’s address the elephant in the room. This quote clearly operates with the logic that aiming for the moon is better than shooting for the stars. That’s just wrong on so many different levels. Why do you think NASA rushed to send their gang to the moon? Because it’s easier to land on the moon than the stars! Now I could pardon the scientific inaccuracy had this quote been actually inspiring. Basically, you’re telling someone its ok to not get the goals he/she aimed for. Let’s try running this past a Lankan mom. “Amma I aimed for an A and I got a B! Aren’t you proud of me?” No Lankan child who said that is alive today. To survive in a SL family, if you aim for an A, you don’t ever miss.
“Don’t worry about the future. What’s meant to be will be”
Most Lankans cannot process these live for the present don’t worry about the future quotes. It is part of the SL culture to fret and get a heart attack over a future that cannot be controlled. Ever since I was little, my Thaththa worried about everything. Phone bills, my studies, dengue, missed calls, when someone sneezes too close to us…you get the picture! And when I, in vain, try to soothe these worries, his typical response is “If I don’t worry about these things who will?? Did you get a cold recently? No! Why because I worried enough to make you drink vitamins.” Sigh…over the years, I’ve learnt better than to argue with that logic.
“Love means never having to say you’re sorry”
In Eric Segal’s Love Story, the female protagonist so benevolently waves off her husband’s apology with the famous “love means never having to say you’re sorry” quote. I suppose the legitimacy of this statement depends on what kind of love its referring to. Perhaps if you’re aiming for a Donald trump and Melania kind of love story, you can get away with saying this to your significant other. But if it is a Lankan love that you aspire to have, this quote could get you divorced and homeless. If you mess up the parippu, say you’re sorry. If you get late for a date, plead for mercy. If you take longer than 3 minutes to reply to a text, admit you’re wrong. If you forget a birthday/anniversary well…. you’re finished mate, give up.
“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.”
Of all the quotes here, this one is quite fair. Yes, we can only help people who are willing to listen to our advice. But for whatever reason, this quote is just not part of a Sri Lankan parent’s culture. Let’s take one of their famous advices; “Putha you need to study well in order to have a good future”. Now if you’re one of those rebellious kids who prefers to chill rather than work, Lankan parents won’t back off, as this quote suggests. They will haul you to every tuition teacher in the country, confiscate any possibility of you having fun, and monitor you 24/7 until you yield and burry yourself in work. In other words, a Lankan can lead a horse to water, shove its head into the river and force the water in.
“Love is the absence of judgement”
Indeed, the world would be a beautiful place if we could love whoever we desire, free from judgement of others. This certainly seems to be the case in the UK at the moment, with an American actress marrying into the hoity toity British royal family (assuming the Queen doesn’t have assassination plans already underway). However, Sri Lanka is not quite there yet. Here, love between two people can only work after a tedious process of getting approval from both families. This involves strict background checks, race/religion compatibility as well as a thorough assessment of the way she/he sits, stands, dresses, walks and breathes. Once these endless procedures are complete – if the couple still loves each other – they can then proceed to face the bureaucracies of wedding planning.
Overall, I suppose the lessons here are; Aim for the stars and don’t ever miss. Worry about the future because you might just prevent a cold. Lankan love means forever having to say you’re sorry. You can lead a horse to water and then, shove the water down its throat. Last but not least, love…no matter how sweet and passionate, cannot escape the judgement of the Lankan families
