2017 Jun 5
“Hamadaama me vage hinaa pirunu moonakin rasa thae ekak labenavanang” (How I wish that a face beaming with such a smile would bring me a sweet cup of tea every day). This is a scene from a Sri Lankan tele drama where the husband is offered his morning cup of tea by his wife. The problem here is not the wife’s love for her husband, but her role being reduced to a tea maker. The message is that a woman is attractive only as long as she obediently serves her husband.
This scene imposes a certain culture in our society that turns out to be destructive for women, for it encourages the objectification of women. Such scenes unfortunately are not isolated, but frequently repeated so that a generation grows up believing that one gender is inferior to another by natural disposition.
This is reflected in our typical Sri Lankan homes where the male species wake up expecting a hot cup of tea ready for consumption. Boys as young as twelve raise their voices at their mothers, “Ammi ko thae eka?!” A potential bride is introduced as, “She is a terrific cook”. Thus, we dehumanize a fellow human and reduce the female gender to a creature that is supposed to have a natural flair for the art of cooking. Her role is confined within a small space where she is expected to serve the superior male species like a robot, and help them achieve their goals. As for her, she is not expected to have any goals.
It’s very likely that there are many people, particularly men, who don’t realize that they’re perpetuating a culture that dehumanizes and objectifies women, and it is very likely that our entertainment industry is oblivious to the effects of objectifying women. The truth is that women are as complex and human as their opposite gender, yet some Sri Lankan tele dramas would have none of it.
In one particular Sinhala sketch comedy, three grown men are having a conversation. One man pointing to his friend boasts that he has agreed to marry his daughter in exchange for one million rupees. The other hearing this pleads to take his two daughters instead, each for a discounted rate of five hundred thousand rupees. The motive is clear. The girls are reduced to consumer goods; mere objects that lack emotions and feelings. This is dehumanizing at its worst.
A lie repeated frequently enough creates the illusion of truth. Such messages repeated often create a certain perspective about women, and especially about girls among boys. A young boy with a malleable brain who grows up digesting such disgusting lies, eventually becomes an adult whose mind is permeated by the dangerous idea that females are like chattel in a market that can be bought, sold and owned. Thus, when they tease a girl they are merely teasing an object that has no feelings or emotions, and how can such a thing ever be hurt? This is probably why in Sinhala slang a girl is referred to as a ‘baduwa’, literally ‘thing’.
People are conditioned to condone and accept male authority over women. The message is reinforced in almost every Sinhala tele drama where a man reigns over the woman. The hero is always a man. He is the protagonist who makes the right decisions, fights against injustice, protects women, runs large corporations, and saves lives. Men apparently rule this world, while women exist only to fulfill their manly desires.
In another tele drama two cons are plotting to seize a dying old man’s wealth. They decide to trick him into signing his assets away to them. What do they do? They use a woman as the bait. They decide to tempt him to marry a beautiful young girl, and under the pretext of signing the marriage documents they hope to get the copies of the deed signed. Once again the message that females are pleasure objects is reinforced through this scene. The woman is portrayed as innocent and silly; a creature that can be controlled, and easily coerced into submission by the powerful male species.
What some Sri Lankan tele dramas fail to acknowledge is that what makes a woman whole is not her physical appearance but something that is much deeper than that; something that cannot be touched. Her real potential as a human being lies within. Her intellect, spirit and emotions that define her true personality are neglected, while her external appearance is promoted as the proof of her womanhood. Her flesh gains value over her wisdom.
In a powerful YouTube video that has over 1.2 million hits the following message is given at the end.
“I think that the people that are harmed the most, of course, are the children. Girls are growing up thinking that how they look is more important than how they feel, or who they are, and what they can do.”
We have a responsibility to treat our women with dignity and respect. We need to recognize our mothers, daughters, sisters, and friends for who they are, and not their physical attributes.
