Everything else.. Types of Lankan Friends We Know Too Well

Types of Lankan Friends We Know Too Well

2020 Jul 30

‘Variety is the spice of life’

The universal motto of wisdom stands true to the indispensable element in the clockwork of our lives, friends. They come in different shapes, sizes, personalities and intense levels of drama, (ringing any bells yet?) that at times you secretly want to reach for their throats (figuratively of course). No matter what they are like despite those occasional disagreements, they will always be here in our highs and lows, everything in between and beyond. 

While any and every definition ever given may not suffice in telling how much we love them for who they are and what they mean to us, here’s a little reminder to embrace and celebrate your friends this Friendship Day.

 

1. THE CONTROL FREAK

 

If you plan on making any big decisions of your everyday life, fear not.

The Control Freak to the rescue.

Thinking of making your next move on someone you just met? Want your friend to stop you from making that extravagant online purchase? Stuck at a fancy clothing store unable to decide which dress to buy?

Whatever situation you are in, these friends will weigh the pros and cons of your impending actions and present you with a curated list of possibilities. Some will let you be a responsible adult by bringing that ‘Amma factor’ to the table and let you make your own decisions, while some will dive right into it hand in hand, zero questions asked. If you have a Control Freak – you’re one lucky dude!

 

2. THE FITNESS ADDICT

Don’t they just love judging your unhealthy eating habits?  Pointing out what junk you digest each day, from beginner fitness enthusiasts to being the sculpt ones, they are the friends who live at the gym and post exercise goals on social media, making you feel like an idle slugabed.

They will advise against your inconsistent lifestyle choices but often are the ones who won’t ignore a Cheese Koththu or a slice of chunky chocolate cake at a night out. After all, cravings are hard to ignore, even for the strong-willed. They will always drag you in the right direction, even if you feel a broken bone or two, a week worth of backaches and knee pains after two sets of anything at the gym (Nobody said it was easy)!

 

3. THE OPINIONATED ONE

This one has all cards on the table. They have an opinion for everything and sometimes although they mean well, they can still get on your nerves with their ‘man kiwwane ohoma wei kiyala’ moments of assertiveness. Capable of both gut-wrenching truths and constructive criticism, you probably need one of them in your life for occasional reality checks. 

Thank them later. Pretend to disagree with them now.

  

4. THE GAMERS

Everyone has that friend who calls you up for a game, day or night be it Fortnite, PUBG, DOTA, COD and more. The list goes on and when you hear your brothers’ calling, you just can’t say no. You unite for a single cause on the battlefield knowing that your Amma isn’t the biggest fan of your team spirit. Your bath pigana is on the table for hours and you are just sitting there till she comes and screams at you, again. We understand you. 

 

5. KARADARA AYYA – කරදර අයියා

A magnet for all sorts of trouble, when they go down, you go down with them. Why me?Why them? You ask, but you know that’s how things are supposed to go with this one. You can never turn down their pleas to come and rescue them, only because you warned them that this would happen (Going against your wisdom, did you not foresee this coming?).

 

6. THE GERMAPHOBE

With strict rules of cleanliness and an incurable fear of germs, they are the ones who you can depend on when in need of a tissue. While we urge you to wear your mask, given the present conditions for your safety and everyone else’s, the obsessive germaphobes will tirelessly run you through a manual of government certified hand sanitization protocol and social distancing guidelines. This is the era of your germaphobe friend and we are continuously grateful for them and you should be too.

 

7.   AWISSENA YALUWA – ඇවිස්සෙන යාළුවා

At the drop of a word, there’s that someone who gets triggered and offended for things you never intended towards them.  Chances are you are that friend or you are the one who sets the trigger. They champion at getting offended at things in a split second and often have the softest hearts. However, you are always there for them and nobody else can make fun of them. Strength comes in numbers but they are your friends and no one would dare to offend them but you.

 

8.   THE WORKAHOLICS

Do we even trust them when they ‘weda machan’ and cannot make it to a night out? Often the most masterful dodgers of last-minute invites, the workaholics are compulsive workers although they complain of ‘too much work’. Your workplace pretends to care for them by “asking” them to take a time-out, but deep down inside the employer loves your friend’s toxic work-ethic. While you admire their ability to work day or night, it annoys you all the same.

 

9.   THE PLAYER

The versatile head-turners of every group, they can walk and talk their way into anything they want. These grandmasters of flirtation maintain multiple romantic relationships at once (without them being aware of course) and they can sweet-talk anyone they come across. They are also the most confident ones who say “hari machan, no problem” when you need them to flaunt their fabulous selves and get the job done.

Their undoing? A gallery of chronological screenshots. 

 

10. THE FRIEND-ZONED FRIEND

“Api yaluwo wage imu” is the line they dread. Unfortunately, it’s the only line they get.

Despite their best efforts and the kindest hearts, they keep getting turned down by everyone they make a move on and take on the role of the friend, sister, and brother to people when they need them the most. 

 

11. THE KLUTZ

From running into the wrong things and people at the wrong time, this friend redefines the word ‘clumsy’ in your life. The one who slips on perfectly unslippery floors spontaneously drops any and everything with absolute mastery, and catches 20 ailments in one day, ‘caution clumsy person onboard’ is your motto on the go with this beloved friend.

 

12.   MIA (MISSING.IN.ACTION)

Where are you? 

We never know where they are or what they are doing but you still know they are somewhere, just not to be seen on social media nor available on a phone call. Don’t worry if they go missing for hours in the middle of a night out and reappear with an elaborate script of a legitimate missing person’s account (even if you don’t buy them), or they may never come back at all. 

Let us know if you have any of these fabulous friends in your life and if we have missed any interesting ones, don’t hesitate to comment below!