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The New Normal of Naughty and Nice: a Guide to Sleighing Sex and Relationships this Festive Season

2020 Dec 10

Christmas is in the air! With most of us here in Sri Lanka under some form of a lockdown or practising social distancing – the festive season brings with it much needed hope and joy. The holidays are the perfect time to give our sexperiences a little Christmas cheer and make things as hot as some mulled wine- and the third edition of Durex Sri Lanka’s Pillow Talk did just this!

The episode- featuring host Danu Innasithamby and musician Randir – titled ‘Let’s talk Facts and Tips’ aired live on Instagram at 7pm on Sunday, the 6th of December. Read on and enjoy!

Let’s talk about sex

We’re not focusing on dirty talk here- although that’s equally important! We’re talking about open communication with your partner. As Randir said, “communication is always key- making sure each person is getting the attention they need, staying in touch and being transparent with your communication is probably the most important thing. I know there are a lot of teenage couples who are stuck at home and yearning to catch up with their loved ones- it must be really frustrating- hang in there till things are back to normal. Maintain a lot of communication- just talk, express yourself and understand that this is a passing phase”

Honesty is always the best policy and the key to great sex and relationships is to get everything out in the open! Being more in tune with each other on everyday things will mean you’re more likely to feel comfortable opening up on more risqué topics such as your sexual desires.

Sexual honesty- talking about what you do and don’t like in sex includes sharing any problems (which is a good way of getting to the bottom of it) and sharing the more joyful aspects of your sex life as well. It’ll encourage your partner to keep doing what feels good – and this leads to a strong connection and a great sex life that’s mutually satisfying. Keeping the communication flowing will definitely keep the fun flowing too!

Sexpert advice for keeping self-isolation sexy

Sex has changed. With social distancing restrictions- we may have lost sight of the simple things in life, like the sight of our partner’s naked body. However just because you’re living apart doesn’t mean you can’t maintain intimacy. “Isolating yourself doesn’t mean you have to be alone,” Randhir accurately stated. Thanks to technology, we now have texting, phone calls, social media, video and Facetime, so although staying physically intimate may be challenging, staying connected is not- and just because you’re not physically together- it doesn’t mean the sexual element of your connection has to fade. Whether it’s sexting, sharing your most intimate desires over the phone or setting up a video date, there’s plenty of ways for those ‘living apart together’ during this new normal to rekindle the romance.

Tips for sexting:
  • Keep your sexts short and concise
  • Build up the intensity slowly
  • Leave things to the imagination
  • Make it about them, not about what you want them to do to you
  • Ask open questions that require more than a yes or no answer
  • Check that auto correct hasn’t given your sentence a new meaning!

Phone call sex is another great way to ensure Santa won’t be the only one coming this Christmas! Or if you are feeling even more excited, why not upgrade and partake in a steamy video session to ignite your partner’s imagination? Video call sex can be great fun- and in fact, if you’re unable to be with them physically, it is the next best thing to actual sex.

Here are some tips to heighten the experience:

Choose a time when you’ll both be free from distractions.

Create an atmosphere that you feel relaxed in – think candles, music, whatever works – this is your time for pleasure after all.

Use an instant messaging app that allows you to video call at no extra cost (provided you are connected to your household Wi-Fi). Many allow unlimited video calling and have the added benefit of conversation encryption. This means you can enjoy video cam phone sex both safely and free of cost.

Start simple and pick up the pace- try subtle seduction and find your flirting rhythm – it’s about creating a private world for you and your partner- and then dive into the more intimate areas!

Give your partner a striptease, jump in a bath for some steamy fun or introduce toys into the equation for an added bonus!

Employ these techniques and we guarantee you won’t have a silent night this season!

Sex and self-care

When it comes to giving your partner a gift (or anything at all) – you want to give it to them good! Christmas cake is better covered with icing, Christmas presents are better wrapped and Santa always wraps his package before coming down the chimney. Similarly, your package will be best received if it comes protected. Condoms are the ultimate safe sex essential, and they not only help prevent unwanted pregnancies- but also help prevent many sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Using a condom shows you respect your partner.

Knowing the sex you’re having is safe will make you feel much closer to them rather than worrying about the consequences otherwise. Love doesn’t protect against STIs, and being responsible will ensure you please your partner with whatever you have to give. Adults play different during the holidays and it’s about being mature enough to keep yourself safe and sexy.

Sweet treats for the season

Condoms are not just about safety- choose the right one and you may find sex with your partner even more enjoyable- you can leave them absolutely star struck! Flavoured condoms are a great way to lend a bit of creativity to your night time (or anytime!) endeavours and bring a little sweetness into the bedroom (or wherever you’re doing it!) Randir highlighted this fact, “condoms won’t sell in this world if condoms take away the pleasure from sex so obviously that’s a fallacy. A lot of brands like Durex and so on take extra care into creating all these variants in their products as well.”

With so many flavours, textures and types to choose from- there really is a condom out there for everyone- you just have to find the one that suits you. Thus you not only have peace of mind, but can enjoy fun, variety and a whole new world of sensations with your sex life. So wrap your tool, practice safe gifting- and you are more than ready to get rocking around the Christmas tree. Trust us- you’ll be jollier than Santa- he gets to lighten his load and come only once a year!

In Sri Lanka however, “there’s a culture of embarrassment around purchasing condoms or any form of protection and this is not helping the cause. That kind of stigma is a deterrent to people- it discourages them from being safe,” as Withana mentions. For too long there has been a stigma around many facets of the sex discussion. We need to break down norms, shatter taboos and open the discussion- and in the age of social media- this needs to be inclusive, progressive and welcoming to all. Only by having the discussions that aren’t being had- such as initiatives like this one by Durex Sri Lanka- will things change for the better- here’s to making this new normal festive season a safe, sexy and fun one!

We’re sure this piece will help you be naughty or nice, good or bad- whatever you choose (or perhaps good at being naughty?) Whether you live with your partner or have just started seeing someone new, whether you are single and have just found your better half on you favourite dating app or intend to- we really hope you find someone who makes your ‘all I want for Christmas is you’ dream come true!